Aborted Women: In Their Own Words
One day I'll tell them why
by Laura
I was 8 weeks pregnant, and 17 years old. I already had a 6 month old
daughter, I did not know how I would cope with another baby. I was scared
and alone, I knew that it would not be fair to bring another baby into the
world when I had post-natal depression and could hardly look after my
daughter. I booked an appointment at an abortion clinic, and went for the
first appointment, where they did a scan, and found out I was carrying
twins. I knew from then that it would be tough looking after three children,
let alone one. I was sad that I had to abort my babies because I always
wanted a big family, but I knew that it would not be fair, on them or my
daughter. So I booked another appointment to have the abortion, and spoke
to a councellor first, so they could make sure that it was my choice, and I
was in the right state of mind. They then gave me a pill to swallow, which
would stop my babies hearts beating. I took the pill, and drove home, lay
down on my bed and cried my heart out. These were my babies I was killing. I
fell asleep, and when I woke it was time to collect my daughter from my
mum's, so I went to collect her. I held her so close. I knew I was doing the
right thing for her. The nest day, I went to the clinic again, and I was
given 4 pills to insert into my vagina which would cause my cervix to
contract and for me to miscarry the babies. Again I drove home, to my mum's
this time and took two parecetamols and layed down on the sofa. I began to
feel pain, like a period pain, I prayed to god to look after my babies, and
to tell them that I loved them and I was so sorry. I went to go upstairs to
the toilet as I knew the miscarriage was going to happen but as I walked up
two steps, I miscarried. I fell to the floor in a heep, I was crying my
eyes out, I have never felt my heart break so much. my mum gently took my
hand and took me up to the bathroom, where she held me untill it stopped.
After I felt guilty but relieved. I knew that I could finally get on with my
life and be a good mum to my daughter. Having an abortion changed my life
totally, every day i think about my babies, what they would look like, their
personalities, but I know that I will see them again one day, and I can tell
them why I did what I did.
Thank you for reading this.
Posted 1 Jan 2005.
Copyright 2005 by Pregnant Pause
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